Christian Walks, Relationships and Marriages talks
6
Secrets for Newlyweds
School teachers know the first two weeks of school set
the tone of the classroom for the rest of the year. Likewise, newlyweds need to
establish healthy patterns of behavior at the outset of their marriage. Here
are six ways to give your marriage a positive beginning.
1) Practice Patience
I wanted
everything to be done just right when Selma and I first married. In essence, I
tried to microwave our marriage development. But fulfillment, trust, and joy are
best built over time. The intimacy God wants for a married couple can only
mature over time. Cook your marriage in a Crock-Pot — slowly, with low heat!
2) Don’t Expect Perfection
No one has ever
played the marriage game perfectly. In spite of that sobering fact, God does
allow us to participate in this wonderful institution. As God shows you His
grace, extend grace to your mate and to yourself when needed. This means
offering forgiveness as well as seeking forgiveness. Offering forgiveness says
you recognize and accept that your mate’s not perfect. Seeking forgiveness
acknowledges you’re not perfect either.
3) Approach Finances Proactively
Good financial
practices don’t happen by default. Talk about finances, and establish a
financial plan. Avoid going into immediate debt. Alleviate stress at the outset
of your marriage by maintaining a conservative approach toward money. Too much
debt, too little money, and too little conversation about finances add up to
conflict and marital strain.
4) Affirm Your Mate Daily
Commit to give
a genuine compliment daily, and see what it does to your relationship. A word
of caution: A daily compliment sounds good, but the challenge comes when you
get to day 17 and think: “OK, I’ve got to think of another way to affirm him.”
That’s when you pray, “Lord, open my eyes today to the mate you have given me.
Show me how You want me to affirm him today.” Then watch God reveal to you the
wonders of your mate.
When practiced daily, affirmation will transform your
marriage. You’ll see the positive more than the negative. A positive spirit and
warm support are like daily deposits into your marriage account.
5) Talk About Your Sex Life
Although our
world talks, sings, and shouts about sex, this topic is one of the most
neglected in marriages. These conversations open up a deeper level of
vulnerability. While your marriage is fresh, take a healthy step to discuss
sex. Share your likes and dislikes. Then share together how this part of your
marriage could be better.
Almost every marriage has room for improvement in this
area, so don’t get defensive when your mate has a suggestion. Make sexual fulfillment an on-going discussion. Get comfortable talking about your sexual
relationship; it will be easier to discuss adjustments and improvements as the
years go by.
6) Pray for Your Mate Daily
Ask your mate
how you can pray for him or her. This simple daily ritual bonds me with Selma
and strengthens our relationship. It solidifies our belief in God’s love and
care, and it confirms we care enough about each other to take our concerns to the
Almighty.
Final Words of Encouragement:
the goal of every married couple indeed, every christian home should be to make Christ the head counselor and the guide :-)
God loves you deeply,
Jade Daniella
